Parent Versus Student: When Two Worlds Collide, Grad School Article

Frat parties, late night cram sessions and hanging out at the campus coffee house are pretty much par for the course for college students. What happens when the "average" college student is a middle-aged adult who has more to worry about than adjusting to college life? Suppose that the "average" college student is also known as mom or dad? For the parent/ student, two very separate worlds have collided. Spare time is now a precious commodity and balancing work, home and school becomes a constant struggle. How do mature graduate students fulfill their new educational responsibilities while still maintaining their daily role as parents? For Patrick Berges, the struggle between parenting and school was simplified by finding a school and program that fit his needs. Berges, a parent and graduate student, is approaching the completion of his Master's degree in Business Communication from Jones International University. "In my case, Jones allows me to focus on my highest priority: my children," explains Burges. "I don't know many people, outside of my classmates at Jones, who are working full-time, going to school, and spending a decent amount of time with their family." Jones is the first fully accredited on-line university. While the format on an e-classroom is convenient for the busy student, one must be diligent in the areas of discipline and time management. "The workload is not lighter, but rather, you have the flexibility of choosing when you do the work," says Burgess of the e-campus. " The classes are challenging and demanding, yet the on-line structure doesn't allow academia to rule my life." The pure desire to achieve an advanced degree made the parent versus student struggle a little bit easier for Angelita Raygoza to bear. Raygoza juggles her job and family responsibilities while earning her MBA in Business Management from the University of Phoenix. Raygoza's pursuit of her MBA began three years when her youngest child was a high school student. Making the home/work/school adjustment took its toll and Raygoza was forced to take a year off from her studies. Now, back on track, realizes that anyone who wants an advanced degree really has to want it and must realize the sacrifices that are involved. "There is a sacrifice. There are going to be times that you have to spend away from your family," says Raygoza. While working full-time and being a parent can be a bit overwhelming, balancing the demands of school with family can be made easier. Dr. Rachna Jain, licensed psychologist, certified academic coach and author of Get It Done! A Coach's Guide to Dissertation Success, has a few tips for the parent/ student. • Simplify your life as much as possible as soon as possible. Stay aligned with the major priorities in your life (no more than two or three, and they will probably include self care, family and school). This is not the time to take on new social or community activities. • Plan ahead as much as possible. Take your calendar and plan vacation days, family days and school days. This will help you balance your responsibilities. • Maintain strong boundaries around your self-care and family time as much as possible. Take a few days completely off each month and save at least one day for yourself and a few days for your children and family. • Allow your family and children to support you. Maybe your teenagers can help out a bit more with the cooking or younger children can help by picking up a bit around the house. There are no prizes for going this alone. • Make alliances or connections with other mature graduate students. They are a great resource and support. • Aim to complete you program as quickly as possible. The longer it takes, the less likely it is to happen. Deciding to pursue an advanced degree involves the same commitment and consideration as deciding to get married, start a family or even applying for a new job. Before applying, and accepting admission into any graduate program, consider what kind of hours it will require and what type of commitment is involved. Once you have a school and program that works best for you, discuss your decision with you family. Make sure that you have your loved ones' full support and that they are